Category: Random Stuff

No matter where you sit, there’s a light breeze. I don’t think the windows are sealed very well.

The house always smells musty. There’s a kind of damp chill with just a whiff of mold and mildew and decay. I don’t want to complain, but it’s not a great environment for someone my age.

I feel like I’ve been a prisoner in my house for two years, but I’m still not sure I want to leave. I’m still not sure I’ll ever be comfortable outside. In a crowd. Even in a mask.

Fortunately, the store delivers. I miss people though.

It came to him in a flash.

“I’m looking for my phone.”

Sean smiled and shook his head at own his absent-mindedness. He continued walking around the kitchen, looking around, behind, and under things, trying to find his cell phone. It never seemed to be handy when he needed it.

Sean noticed his coffee cup on the big island in the kitchen and paused to refill it. He pulled out a stool and sat down in front of a plate of cinnamon buns. He was reaching for one when it came to him again.

“What was I looking for?”

I finally climbed through that little wood trap door in the upstairs hallway yesterday. Found a couple random swords in the attic. Not little froufrou epees. Broad swords.

One was just lying there and the other was stuck deep in the stone chimney. Took a hell of an effort to pull it out. 

Forgetting, for the moment, the obvious question of how did two fucking broad swords get into the attic and the related question of, why were two fucking broad swords in the attic, another much more important question springs to mind.

Am I King of the Britons now?

So, when the guy in front of me drives into the rain, he slams on his brakes so hard that he nearly loses control of his F150, skidding insanely across all four lanes of 71 Southbound. And, just for a moment, the world turns into a Speed Racer cartoon.

To be clear, he didn’t drive into a volcanic eruption or a tornado or even a thunderstorm. He drove into some light rain.

As he suddenly veers across the lanes, all the rest of us somehow manage to swerve and dodge and miss the collection of large steel tools now flying out of a blue toolbox in the bed of his truck. The toolbox soon follows, narrowly missing my tiny Chevy Sonic.

As soon as my heart starts beating again, I notice that there are many hand signals of displeasure, but I refuse to join them, instead deeply pondering the taste of a cold beer.

What is it about rain that makes Ohio drivers turn the crazy up to eleven?

Everyday, for as long as I can remember, my phone has vibrated at 9:00 a.m. I had no idea why.

So, every few days, it irritates me enough that I spend a few minutes looking at applications and searching through phone settings. After a few minutes, I forget why I’m doing that and go back to my day.

Today, I found a setting that causes my phone to vibrate at 9:00 a.m. when there’s an all-day reminder without a specific time. That is, if I have a todo set to mediate every day, but not at a specific time, the phone vibrates at 9:00 a.m. My phone has decided that “Hey, you’ve got something to do today, but you didn’t bother to decide what time ya knucklehead so, dammit, I’m going remind you of that every morning at 9:00 a.m.”

Unfortunately, my phone won’t vibrate tomorrow morning at 9:00 a.m. so I won’t remember what a genius I am to have found that setting and fixed the problem.

THAT is the old guy problem